28aug20

A bit over two months since the last post. Some catching up:

• I got an air conditioner. It was expensive, because my windows open sideways, and you pay a premium for the less-common shape, I guess? But, I'm able to keep my rooms around 70°F around the clock now, which is much better.
• I got a Roomba. This was part of a plan to get my rooms better organized and keep them that way. I can't run a robot vacuum without keeping the floor clear enough for it to work, right? Well, success. There are a few areas it's not allowed to go because they've got cords that can't currently be dealt with, or I don't want it getting stuck in weird corners, but my carpets have never been cleaner.
• I moved the air filter from the least-useful corner of my office to right next to sideboard in the bedroom, so hopefully it will help cut down on the dust that settles everywhere the roomba can't reach (boy, a flying roomba would be cool slash horrifying).

All of this [waves upwards] seems - if I may engage in some short-form retroactive autopsychoanalysis - to be a vague kind of attempt to get some kind of control over my life in a world where I very clearly have almost none. The house internet has been flaky, work has been alternating between extremely frustrating and kinda fun, and, oh yeah, there's a massive global emergency ongoing. To say nothing of a viral epidemic, which will absolutely kill me if I catch it. (See what I did there?)

But I do have a little 500sqft space that I can exercise some control over, and am finally managing to get it under control. Mind you, I still have a bunch of bins I need to get better organized, and I've been looking for some things that I can't find in any of them, but any progress is good progress.

And it does, slightly, seem to be improving my overall mental health. It's not good, at all, but it's improving. I'm on vacation this week and have managed to actually watch several tv shows. Y'see, very annoyingly, my depression refuses to manifest as "sit in bed all day and watch tv", and instead manifests as "want to lay in bed all day, but get bored, yet also be entirely unable to focus on almost any media I have not previously consumed".

Nothing much else to report. I miss going out to eat. I miss going to the movie theatre. I miss not assuming every trip out of the house is a death sentence, just because a bunch of selfish assholes have convinced half the country to be even worse selfish assholes.

Don't die. I've got dibs.